Karen AcklandTHE BUDDHIST HOLIDAY PARTY On the 18th of December the Buddhists of Sand City are holding their annual holiday potluck. It is a busy time of year and several members of the sangha had suggested a dinner in January or even February might find everyone more relaxed, but the advisory board felt the holiday spirit would be gone by January and they didn't want to let the season pass without sharing a covered casserole of winter squash or a pumpkin baked with teriyaki tofu. The question was finally decided when Darlene Bledsoe, one of the senior practitioners, promised to make chocolate Buddhas for the dessert table. Darlene's chocolate always puts everyone in a festive mood. Mindy Shaw enjoys the experience of sitting with the Buddhists although she doesn't like to think about it very much. She brought the Moroccan eggplant dip to the potluck, a dish she brings to office parties and Shakespeare in the park. Mindy observes how the party, held in the recreation hall of the Methodist Church, gives people who have sat in silence together the chance to say hello. The outgoing who have smiled and nodded all year are exhibiting their superior social skills. The problem-solvers are helping those who have recently hinted at sadness. Earlier in the day Mindy had wondered if she might be better off at home wrapping Christmas presents, but at the last minute she remembered to take refuge in the community and mashed the eggplant. After the meal, those members who also belong to a community chorale begin singing Christmas carols. Two women mutter about the paternalism of Christianity and move toward the back of the hall. Others hum along when the group sings Adeste Fideles, which reminds Carmen Esteve, who considers herself a Catholic as well as a Buddhist, of her childhood in El Paso. Carmen's father died earlier in the year, and she is grateful for the song. Mindy enjoys listening to the carolers and would like to think this makes her more accepting than the women in the corner, but she knows she has a lot more accepting left to do. A month ago a woman Mindy didn't know brought a rabbit on a pink satin pillow to the Thursday sitting. Mindy saw the animal out of the corner of her eye and at first she thought it was a cat. She was amazed by how still it lay with one eye open. During the talk about loving kindness she shifted position and realized the animal was a rabbit. The eye didn't blink. Afterwards the woman introduced her rabbit and explained he had died earlier that morning and she was watching him get deader and deader. Mindy watched in amazement when Betsy Cartwright, who is sensitive to smell and repeatedly reminds the members not to wear fragrance, and Leslie Brady, who is frequently bothered by a buzzing noise in the walls, moved forward to comfort the woman and gently stroke the dead rabbit. At the end of the sitting, Mindy quietly left. She decided she was not offended by the dead rabbit, although she was surprised the woman brought it. She suspects she should work on becoming more accepting. This reminds her of goals that remain on her list of New Year's resolutions year after year. Learn Spanish. Lose Weight. Now she can add Practice Acceptance to her list. The first two have been with her for twenty years and although gestures have been made (verbs conjugated and pounds lost), she certainly can't cross them off as accomplished. She sees how the idea of practice makes all the difference in a resolution. She would consider this a revelation, but isn't sure if Buddhists have them. What Mindy likes best about sitting with the Buddhists, is walking home afterwards. When she looks across the park, the two-story Victorian on the corner will have shifted forty-five degrees to the left. Almost every week this happens, and it is always unexpected. Usually when Mindy drives downtown the house faces the street, lined up neatly with the other houses. But after an hour of sitting, she sees that the house is really angled toward the park. Mindy resolves that this year she will practice seeing the entire block-all the way to the street light-clearly, without expectation. She can work on acceptance after that. The holiday potluck is breaking up. Mindy collects her empty plate-the eggplant dip is always popular-and as the group in the corner sings I Saw Three Ships she walks mindfully into the clear December night. |