PersephonePip, Pip, Ppprozac Goddamn Persephone, it's totally her fault. We all have a little bit of her in us, you know. Persephone, you remember her--that way-too-skinny goddess who got swept away by the death god Hades and imprisoned in his underworld. Ok, he really wasn't a death god, more like a god of eternal limbo, downright depressing. I mean, what can you say about a guy that lives underground with a bunch of corpses? Kind of reminds you of all those self-absorbed wackos in college, doesn't it? You know, the kind that went around all dressed in black, sitting in coffee shops smoking joints and talking about death and suffering like it was some hip club they all belonged to. Get some new clothes and breathe some fresh air, you freaks. Anyway, what does that have to do with you? I'm getting there. So Persephone's doing her own thing, walking along, smelling the flowers, you know, living life. And then one day, wouldn't you know it but old Hades ups and kidnaps her, brings her screaming all the bloody way down to his creepy hellhole. Now, I can't really say as I blame him, being cooped up in those dark caves with nothing but dead bones and withered trees. But poor Persephone, she never had a chance. That darkness around her, well it began to seep into her. Crept into all her little crevices and crannies until her insides were as frozen as the outside. You should've seen her; man, she was a mess. She stopped sleeping, kept crying, couldn't keep a thing down. I'm guessing she was all on edge waiting for her ma to rescue her but when you're that far into the hole, there's not much anyone else can do for you. I guess she finally decided she had to take care of herself so she broke down and chowed down some of Hades' fruit, these pathetic little pomegranate pips. Now me, I'm not sure I'd be taking anything that asshole had to offer. But maybe she had a plan. Cozy up to the guy, be his pal, get him to loosen up and then bam! Grab the first chance to get the hell out of there, so to speak. But then you gotta wonder, pomegranate pips? Not exactly a filling meal. What, you don't know what a pip is? You've seen them, those big red fruits with skin like bloodied leather. You peel a bit off and the gash is preggers with all these red kernels. Personally, I think the whole fruit's a waste. All that effort to shell out these pips and what are they really? A tiny bit of juice and then a fat wad of seed. Thick and tasteless. Let's just hope we're really not what we eat. I'd hate to think I was a faker, tasty on the outside, a whole lot of nothing on the inside. So what happened to Persephone, you ask? Turned out the deal was, since she swallowed some of old man Hades' seeds, she was stuck with him. Her poor ma finally showed up and raised all kinds of hell but a deal's a deal. The upshot of the whole story is they struck a bargain, Hades and Persephone. Half the year she'd be free as a faerie, singing, dancing, shooting the shit with the old geezers up on Mt. Olympus. The other half, she'd be stuck in the dungeon of death, excuse me, the underworld. Popping pomegranate pips till the spooks came home. Some cycle, man, half the time all happy, the other half crying her eyes dry. I wonder if she didn't get a bit loony just waiting for 'that time of year.' She knew it was coming, just a matter of when. So my point was, if little Persephone had just held on a bit longer, maybe her ma would've got to her in time and everyone would've been happy. Well, except for old Hades but that guy's a whole other story. I guess I sorta know what Persephone felt like though. I get it sometimes too, that sadness creeping in until I'm all cold and icy inside. Pretty soon I'm popping stuff down my throat too, only I got something better than those piddling little pips. No, don't look at me like that. I know you know what I'm saying. You've been there too. Don't like it? Well don't blame me. Like I said, go talk to Persephone. There's a bit of her in you too. |